They're home

All is right with my world today.

That's all.

Money: The Plan

We have a plan. See, our income comes in three chunks. Kevin's pay, my pay and child support from my ex-husband. So the plan is to live on Kevin's pay: pay all of our living expenses like rent, power, phone, food and gas. Then we'll pay all of our debt payments like credit cards, my student loan and the car payment, out of my check with whatever is left (three or four hundred at least, maybe more depending on how many days of work I get in a month), will be used to pay down the debt faster. The child support will stay in the bank as savings. Once our savings account has $5,000 in it, we'll start putting all that money toward debt as well.

The way I figure it, by the end of the year we'll have paid about $12,000 toward debt and we'll have $5,000 in savings. That should pay everything off but the car and my student loan. Six more months and we should have those paid off as well.

My only prayer is that the economy holds on long enough for us to follow through with this plan. Just one year.

We're in the middle of a huge storm. All of our TV stations come from Salt Lake City where they're getting it particularly bad and the new keeps calling it "the storm of the century." I wouldn't care, I've been looking forward to some weather after so long of living where HOT was the only weather we ever got. Only problem is that my kids are on the other side of a closed pass. Snow tires or chains required. I haven't seen my kids in almost two weeks. Yesterday I talked to Ruby on the phone and she asked me if she could come home. I feel like I'm about to get out there with a snow shovel and make an open road myself. This sucks.

This and That...and Happy New Year!

Kevin and I just got back from an overnight trip to Elko. We went to all the different grocery stores getting the best deals we could find (we got a months worth of food for about $450. That might seem like a lot to spend at once, but the same items in town would have cost double that. Elko is 180 miles away, so we only get there a few times a year so when we do, we stock up.)

I miss my kids. I know it seems silly. You're supposed to want some kid-free time, right? But oh my god, I miss them. I talked to Ruby on the phone yesterday. She said," Hi, Mommy! I want to go home." And I broke down right there in the cereal aisle of Super Wal-Mart. Twelve days just isn't going to happen ever again. Well, maybe when she's 20.

We went and saw a movie last night. It's funny, when you move from metropolis to the sticks, little things you used to take for granted are suddenly a big deal. Like stadium seating at the movies. Like having six movie choices, instead of one. Like being able to buy bulk couscous or find chicken sausage. It's the little things.

Anyway, we saw I Am Legend. I didn't realize until I went to look up the book that it was written by the same man who wrote one of my favorite books ever. Richard Matheson wrote What Dreams May Come. It's amazing. The movie was really good, too. But read the book. Matheson did a lot of research into life after death, and that lends a sort of authority to the story that makes it stick to you. It's the same reason that I Am Legend had me on the edge of my seat from the opening, while other zombie movies don't even appeal to me. He gives a scientific edge to the existence to them that is more frightening than all the Computer Graphic monsters they can throw at you.

Restless

I feel restless. I feel like something has to happen, but I don't know what. Oil is back up over 97 dollars a barrel. How long can we live in McGill and continue to drive 40 miles a day? We already spend $300 a month in gas. I want a garden, but is it worth while to put one into a rental house that's too small for us and that I'd love to move out of this summer? If we move, then it will be yet another year without a garden. I can't feel settled here, because in the nine months we've lived here, we haven't been in a place that didn't feel temporary.

Kevin wants to move back to Vegas because he keeps getting traffic tickets here. After four or five speeding tickets, (he got them on the highway between Ely and McGill where the speed limit is 60 and when he comes home from work at 3 a.m. no one but cops is on the road), he stopped speeding. Last night he got a $107 ticket for making a right hand turn without a signal.

I do NOT want to move back to Vegas. But I might not mind living in Elko. Or even Logandale where my dad lives. I hate the idea of moving back to extreme heat, though. I just can't do it. Maybe Reno. Or some rural area that way.

I'm torn between wanting to move somewhere beautiful, temperate, green and lush--and wanting to stay nearish to my family, which has all chosen to live in the desert. Jill lives in Idaho, maybe that would work. Maybe I could ignore the fact that it's utterly homogeneous and has zero diversity. Maybe.

I miss my baby. She's visiting her grandparents. For twelve days. I'm going to drive two hours in a little bit here to drop Adrienne and Nick off with their dad for ten days. I feel like I'm supposed to be happy to have some kidless time, but I'm not. I'm going to miss them.

We have no money in the bank, way too much debt, and we have five people in 900 rented square feet. We need a plan. A good one. I'm afraid that 2008 is going to be the year when things really change, and we are not prepared. At the least we need some money, some emergency preparation, and less debt.

Happy Holidays

Yesterday was Kevin's birthday. We went and saw National Treasure 2. If they don't make a third movie and it doesn't tell what was on page 47, I'm going to be very upset. I can't stand cliff hangers. It feels like a gimmick. Make the first movie interesting enough and you can just end it and I'll be happy to see the next installment.

Happy Christmas Eve! I'm off to bake some bread and make my famous baked beans. I hope your holiday, however you celebrate it, is full of family and joy and good food.

Mmmmmmmmm Cookies!

I spent all day baking Chocolate Chip Walnut and Oatmeal White Chocolate Cranberry Nut cookies. And pumpkin bread. Oh yum. I make the best pumpkin bread ever. I mean that. Tomorrow I'm making Mint Cherry Shortbread Cookies that are dipped in white chocolate and so so good. And Coconut macaroons.

I made my grandma's Almond Rocca today too. It's my specialty. Adrienne wants orange peel candy, but I'm not sure I'll have the time or stamina to make it in time for Christmas. Kevin's birthday is tomorrow. We're going to dinner and to see the new National Treasure movie. We have one movie theater here, with one screen, and the movie sometimes doesn't change for two or three weeks. Lucky there's a good one for Kevin's birthday!

His folks are coming to town tomorrow and staying through the day after Christmas. They're taking the baby back to Vegas with them for a few days and Adrienne and Nick are going to visit their dad for their winter break.

That means I have ten days, no kids, no work. I'm going to miss them. I'm going to love being able to write with out anyone pulling on my sleeve. Ten days, ya'll. That's 240 hours.

Book Review: Teach Like Your Hair's on Fire: The Methods and Madness Inside Room 56

Teach Like Your Hair's on Fire: The Methods and Madness Inside Room 56 by Rafe Esquith

I bought this book because I'm in the midst of a sort of crisis of faith. I needed some evidence that there are teachers out there who can connect with children and make a difference. I needed some evidence that, while school is fundamentally a broken system, since nearly all American children find themselves there, a ray of hope exists.

I found it, at least partially, in this book. Rafe Esquith and the kids in room 56 do amazing things. They learn unabridged Shakespeare plays, travel around the country, make gorgeous art. They come back year after the year to the teacher who has inspired them to feed the homeless on Christmas Eve. (Que the violins.) And this teacher. He works double time, literally, making Room 56 magic.

So why did I only find it partially? Because some the wonderful things in Room 56
only happen for the kids who are motivated to make them happen. A kid who isn't into drama or Shakespeare, a kid who would rather not spend his time learning the guitar or doing whatever projects Esquith has designed, are out of luck. His Shakespeare program, for instance, according to the book happens outside of class hours to weed out the kids who don't want to do it. That's fine. But what about the things that they do want to do?

I really enjoyed the book. I read it straight through and decided to keep it for it's references to different projects and ideas. He has a really cool class project where the kids recreate this piece of art. Do I want to be him when I grow up? Maybe if I had a wife to raise my own kids! But I did come away with what I was looking for, a ray of hope.