Blowing Off Steam

I have this irrational anger. Except, of course, I feel rational in it. What's irrational about it is that it's totally out of character to me. What has me so pissed off is that, in my mid-thirties, with a $60,000 family annual income, we would not be able to afford to buy the house that I bought seven years ago on my own as a single mother with $20,000 a year income. Yep. That's because the house that I bought at the tail end of 1999 for $103,000 is now "worth" about $211,000 according to Zillow.com.

I put the word "worth" in quotations because this house has not more than doubled in value in seven years. It isn't a bigger house. It doesn't have more land. It's still in a borderline neighborhood. It's still zoned to schools crappy enough that a lot of parents scramble to find alternatives. It's still an 1100-square-foot three-bedroom house.

I do find some comfort in knowing that Zillow listed it as worth $240,000 six months ago.

And that's the part that I find irrational. Not because it isn't normal, but because it isn't normal for me. I'm typically the most fair-minded, root-for-the-underdog type of person you'd ever hope to meet. Anyone who knows me might expect me to feel sorry for the people who are really in a lot of trouble mortgage/debt-wise.

The problem is I can't. I can't feel sorry for anyone who has done this to themselves. Their greed has made it so that I can't afford to buy a house. Not even for people I know and love. Because, who the hell needs a $465,000 house? What is the mortgage on that? $3,000? $4,000? Especially when we're talking about a carpenter and his stay-at-home wife. I can't feel sorry for the depression and worry that must be setting in by now, with their former house on the market for more than a year and the adjustable mortgage on their new house about to reset, and Zillow saying the house is worth more than $50,000 less than paid for it a year ago.

I read an article somewhere, sort of an open letter from someone who bought high and with a ridiculous mortgage, that asked those of us who didn't to please stop rubbing it in their face. Why? Do you know how many times I was laughed at during the past five years when I said that it was not smart to purchase a home you couldn't afford? When I dared to point out that taking all your equity out so that you can take cruises and buy SUVs is pretty short-sighted?

So now I'm pissed off. I would rather spend the rest of my life renting reward someone with a gigantic payday, just for being greedy. I wonder how many other people feel the way I do. I wonder if there is a sort of collective anger and if it isn't actually healthy and might cleanse the country of the greed and corruption that has gotten us to the point that we're teetering on the edge of a financial perfect storm.

I do not want to hear one more person tell me that it was bad timing or bad luck that has kept us from being able to buy a house. I don't want to hear one more Realtor tell me that the housing market is holding steady or is on it's way up or has reached bottom. I'm pissed and I'm taking my stand. I will rent until I'm blue in the face if that's what it takes to wait out this ridiculous market.