Enigma

I substituted today for the man who teaches the higher level math classes. It was a breeze...kids in calculus just don't behave the same as kids in paced algebra. But there is something distinctly weird about being in a classroom where my entire function is being there so that they have someone to ask permission from to pee. I didn't take calculus in high school...I'm not entirely sure what calculus is. It was like someone took a giant highlighter to the fact that, given the chance, kids will learn on their own. They completely taught each other today's lesson, using their books and the book they call The Bible, which is the teacher's edition.

I taught English the day before, and that was nice. I love teaching English. I get English. Math, not so much.

So I changed the name of my eBay store to Enigma Vintage from KSA Vintage. KSA is just mine and Kevin's initials, with the initial of our last name. Enigma is a feel good word to me, because it was the name of this magical cafe that used to be in Vegas. Going there was like going to another world. It isn't there anymore, even the building was raised for the new prison downtown, but I remember being there and how nice it felt. That's what I want people to feel in my store.

Tomorrow I'm taking some pictures of what little amount of clothes I've picked up at the local thrift store, modeled by a girl from the high school. I think it'll turn out great. Krystal is energetic and cute as a button, but edgy at the same time. And she LOVES having her picture taken. Loves. For real. I'll post some tomorrow and we'll see what ya'll think.

In other news, I've been watching the stock market pretty closely lately. It seems to me that things that even six months ago would have shot it into the stratosphere for weeks are barely bringing on a blip up and then the next day or two something negative comes out and it falls again. I don't think there are very many people outside politics and those who have the hardest to fall who are denying the recession anymore. My gut tells me this will be worse than any recent recession. Worse than after the dot com thing, since it barely even entered my consciousness that we were in a recession that time. Right now everyone is talking about the economy. I hear it at work, at the store, in restaurants, everywhere I go. The man who used to own the grocery store (they sold it about two months ago) works at the high school. He just sold his house and he's moving his family to Redding, California. I overheard him saying today that he signed the papers on his house yesterday--he didn't get what it was worth, but it was on the market since June so they just got what they could. If I had bigger balls, I would have asked him if "getting what you can" really means the same thing as "getting what it's worth." Worth isn't determined by the seller's idea of what a thing should cost, but by what a buyer is willing to pay for it. The buyer determines worth, not the seller. Right? His house is worth just what it sold for. And likely some less.

They came to measure for the door the landlord is putting in so that we can have both sides of the duplex. I'm scared to up our rent still. We need the space. That isn't me being an entitled American, either. Two adults, two teenagers and a toddler do not fit in a two-bedroom, 850 square foot apartment for the long term.

As I typed that, I was thinking--says who? If it came down to it, we could stay just where we are until the cows come home. It's tight. I'd like a room without a Ruby in it. I'd like Adrienne not to spend the fleeting tail-end of her childhood sharing a room with her brother. I want more room. We can get by without it. So, instead of telling myself we HAVE to move, and we'd HAVE to move either way--I'm going to remind myself to be grateful that we can move. We can afford it, and there is no guarantee that, in the future that is coming, we will be able to.

It's a bumpy ride we have to look forward to. I want to ride it out in a space big enough for a money-making enterprise to fit in with us, and with a yard big enough for a Victory Garden!